Well anyway after school the two of us, broken, went to my house, we talked with my girlfriend the whole time and my friend wanted to talk to her parents to let her go, well I knew they will say no... but... I guess I had a faint hope which kept me whole... but as soon as they told her she can ' t go I just couldn ' t hold my tears inside... not just that... I played with my razor blade a little... well I didn ' t cut or hurt myself... I simply put it in my mouth and held it there until my friend took it out... and then he gave me a hug I so desperately needed then... well I started crying even harder... and he started crying too... so after a while I tried to pull myself together, it wasn ' t going good but I tried... and when I kind of calmed down my friend started crying because he was sad that he saw me this way, because I am not a person that breaks easily... then I gave him a hug, and calmed myself completely because I remembered some lyrics from Eminem: " I ' m supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure " So I calmed myself down in order to help him.